Now that the Haunted Barn is over for the season...Part Deux

OK. So here is the walk-through broken down.

I sat at the cash table and manned the door, thankfully with the help of Genie (the garage door opener attached to the entrance door).

First Room - The Wolfman
Second Room - The Mummy
Third Room - Dracula
Fourth Room - The Invisible Man (unmanned; Dracula pushed a button to inflate the body in the bed)
Fifth Room - Freddy Kreuger
Sixth Room - Psycho
Seventh Room- unmanned; long hallway with creepy footsteps

That ends the first floor. There was an emergency exit (used fairly frequently) in the Psycho room that allowed freaked out children to get out before it was too late. Once they went up the stairs, they were stuck until the end.

Eighth Room - Michael Myers (long hallway with werewolf pictures and an air cannon strategically placed that everyone stepped on the trigger pad and got a shot of air about knee-high)
Ninth Room - Creature from the Black Lagoon
Tenth Room - unmanned; I dressed the room in layers of bubble wrap, with black lights and strobes. Very difficult to find the door heading to...
Eleventh Room - Jason
Twelvth Room - Frankenstein
Thirteenth Room - Christine

The final effect is actually called Claustrophobia. It's two 8-foot-long bags inflated with high-intensity fans that press against you as you walk through. It was the longest 8 feet of the entire Haunted Barn according to most of our victims. Another 10-foot walk (where Mikey sticks his head out again right at the door) got you back outside.

So there you have it.

We already have decided on next year's theme and I spent some time searching the web last night to get ideas.

We're tired. Very, very tired. We still have to pack all the decor up and tear down the walls before we're really done for the season. We plan to try to get that done this coming weekend, but we've said that before LOL

The Man and I need to get our yard set up for trick-or-treating yet, too. Thank goodness he's on vacation this whole week and I myself have taken Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Look for new recipes, provided that I have the energy to cook.

Now that the Haunted Barn is over for the season...

Our theme this year was "Classic Horror."

I made this video the first weekend we were open. It's kind of crappy because at first I had forgotten I had the camera zoomed all the way in and I had to talk to our actor a bit because I can't seem to keep my mouth shut.

I had intended to redo it yesterday, but I naturally forgot the camera in my haste to get out the door to pick up snacks and soda for the actors as a thank-you for all their great work.

Celebrating

Today is the first anniversary of It's Just Not Dinner Without Cat Hair.

So far, I have celebrated by cleaning my fridge and coming down with a cold.

Thanks to everyone who has listened to me bitch and whine for the last year :-)

Chilly temps mean soup around here

At 5:00 this morning, I was shivering in the cold while quietly urging The Gidge to complete her morning business.

At 11:00 this morning, I was shivering in the cold while loudly urging The Gidge to complete her lunchtime business.

At 12:00 this afternoon, I was shivering in the cold while vehemently cursing the construction crews working outside the post office because I had to run an obstacle course in order to buy stamps.

At 5:30 this evening, I was shivering in the cold while hauling ass from the grocery store to the car.

If you haven't figured it out yet, fall temperatures have finally hit this area. The high today was a whopping 50 degrees.

I don't do well in cooler weather. Once my hands and feet get cold, there's no warming me up without a bubbly tubby and some warm apple cider (2 perks of the season, in my opinion, along with the bonfires I get to look forward to after this weekend and walking through the leaves that have changed color), regardless of the number of layers I pile on my poor, abused self.

I just came in from taking The Gidge outside again. My glasses steamed up when I came back inside.

Gidget is clad in a pink thermal hoodie (I know, I know. Wait till you see the white coat with blue fuzzy trim). I am huddled on the couch typing this post, while swaddled in a pink fuzzy blanket. I have warmed up somewhat after my comforting dinner, but I still need to run that bubble bath, heat up some cider, light some candles, and warm myself all over. If I could get my butt off the couch. We are playing fetch with a stuffed squirrel (you didn't expect something normal like a tennis ball, did you? Shame....), I am watching some mindless crap on TV and surfing the web while waiting for words and ideas to come.

Just makes me want to get off the couch. Or not. I need comfort after chilly days like today.

I have started getting weekly organic deliveries (for those of you in the know, it's the More Fruit & Veggie Box) and in last week's box, there was a head of purple cauliflower. I love the look of this veggie, with its deep purple florets standing out against the green outer leaves. This week's box contained a head of white cauliflower. I had to do something with them before the purple one went bad, so I came up with this soup.

A belly full of this is the real reason I can't seem to get off the couch.

Cauliflower Soup with Carrot-Tarragon Puree and Parmesan Straws
From my head

For the soup:

2 heads of cauliflower (I imagine this soup would be much prettier if I had used all white cauliflower)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped (I wanted to use a leek, but the ones at the store were NAS-TEE)
3 cloves of garlic, minced
4 cups vegetable stock or broth
1/2 tsp kosher salt
6 grinds of fresh black pepper

For the carrot puree:

2 large carrots, peeled and chopped into uniform pieces about 1" long
1 tbsp butter
A pinch of kosher salt
1/4 tsp dried tarragon

For the parmesan straws:

1/2 cup finely grated parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil, spray with cooking spray, and set aside. Make the straw molds by rolling aluminum foil into 1/2" thick solid tubes.

Cut the florets off of the cauliflower heads and coarsely chop them; set aside. In a 6-quart stock pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat; add the onion and garlic. Cook until softening (5 minutes or so). Add the broth/stock and cauliflower and then bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low and cover, allowing to simmer until the cauliflower is falling apart (about 20 to 25 minutes).

While the soup is simmering, get the carrots into a small saucepan with 1 cup of water. Bring to a boil and then reduce the heat to medium. Cook until the carrots are fork-tender (10 minutes or so). Drain and then add the butter to the pan; toss to coat the carrots with melted butter.

Now is a good time to grate the cheese.

When the cauliflower and carrots are ready, bring out the blender. Puree the carrots first and then pour them into a small bowl. Sprinkle the puree with a pinch of salt and the tarragon; stir to combine. Rinse out the blender container.

Using a slotted spoon, remove the cauliflower and onions from the broth/stock and place into the blender container. Pulse, adding broth/stock to the container as needed until the cauliflower is as smooth as possible. Pour the soup back into the remaining broth/stock and stir well. Heat over the lowest flame you've got to keep it warm while you make the parmesan straws.

Divide the grated parmesan into 4 equal mounds on the prepared pan. Place into the oven and bake for 8 to 10 minutes until the cheese is melted and just starting to brown. YOU NEED TO MOVE FAST NOW! Remove the pan from the oven; take 1 of the cheese puddles onto an offset spatula and gingerly (but FAST) wrap it around a straw mold. Do the same with the other three. If you don't move dang quick, you will have parmesan crackers, so if you're not sure you can do this quickly, only bake 1 or 2 at a time. Allow the parmesan straws to cool; when cool, gently remove the mold from the center.

To serve, ladle the desired amount of cauliflower soup into a bowl. Spoon 3 tbsp of the carrot puree on top of the soup, then stick a parmesan straw into the carrot puree.

Or if you forget to put the parmesan straw into your soup before you take a picture, go back and grab one and use it to scoop up soup.

This moment brought to you by the miracle of technology

Or by the people who make XD-picture cards that fail after 6 months so you have to buy a new one.

Whichever. I am currently leaning toward the second one.

Anyway, I stopped by Staples to pick up a new one since my camera stopped reading the old one, which naturally had the pictures of the fresh-out-of-the-oven pizza from last night. So these pictures are of day-old pizza, which tastes just as great but isn't so hot in the visual department anymore.

I'd like to mention that I believe that places like PetCo and PetSmart must pipe some drug through their ventilation systems. I went in for a rawhide bone and a can of Kong Stuffn. I came out with $100 worth of dog clothes, dog toys, and cat stuff too.

It's gotta be in the air.

Chicago-style pizza - oh, my goodness...

It's been...well, a dang long time since I have eaten my absolute favorite style of pizza - Chicago-style. I have no idea what brought it to the front of my mind the other day, but once it was there, the thought of this thick pizza would not go away.


You know how it is - once you start craving something, nothing else could possibly take it's place and it's all you think about until you get it.


So this was the case here. I looked at blogs, picked through cookbooks, flipped through the recipes in The Vault...and found no crust recipe that appealed. In the process, though, I found that my copy of The Joy of Cooking has a small gluten-free breads section! I should look at my current cookbooks a little more closely, hm?


Finally, I went back the crust recipe that I used to make all the time and made an attempt at converting it. While the results aren't bad, it certainly isn't the worst gluten-free pizza crust I have ever eaten, and there have been a few.


I used a springform pan for this recipe. Instead of cutting my finger while trying to cut through the side crust, I figured it would be easier to be able to pop off the sides, cut my slices, and then put the sides back on for storage. And I was right.

My camera's on the blink, so I will hopefully post pictures soon.


Chicago-Style Pizza
Adapted from The Vault


For the crust:

1 cup sorghum flour
1 cup brown rice flour
3/4 cup potato starch
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 tbsp xanthan gum
1 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp yeast
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 tbsp cornmeal
1 cup warm water (112 degrees or so)
2 tsp olive oil + extra for the bowl and pan
2 tbsp cider vinegar
A sprinkle of dried basil
A sprinkle of garlic powder


For the sauce:

1-28 oz can crushed tomatoes
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp onion powder
1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp kosher salt


For the filling:

1 medium-sized ball mozzarella, sliced into 1/2" slices
Favorite pizza toppings of choice (I used Italian sausage, mushrooms, green pepper, and red onion)


Additional stuff:

1 tbsp grated parmesan

Dissolve the yeast in the warm water and allow to sit for 5 minutes so the yeast can bloom. Add thesalt olive oil, sorghum flour, brown rice flour, potato starch, cornstarch, xanthan gum and cider vinegar. Mix with a mixer until well blended. Place into a clean, oiled bowl, cover, and allow to rise for an hour in a warm place.

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Lighly oil the bottom and sides of a springform pan or any round pan with at least 2" sides. Sprinkle the bottom and sides with the cornmeal. Break off pieces of the dough and pat them into the pan until they are mushed together and the crust is about 1/4" to 1/2" thick. Make sure you pat the dough up the sides of the pan - when doing thing, think about the volume of topping you are planning on using (the more toppings, the taller the sides need to be).

Once the inside of the pan has been covered by pizza dough, place into the oven and bake for 1o to 15 minutes (the thicker the crust, the longer you will need to bake it) without toppings to ensure the crust gets cooked most of the way through.

To make the sauce, pour the olive oil into a saucepan and saute the garlic for 2 minutes over medium heat. Add the crushed tomatoes, garlic, basil, oregano, onion powder, and salt. Stir well and simmer until cooked through.

To prepare the pizza, layer in the following manner (from the bottom):

1. Mozzarella cheese
2. Italian sausage (or other meat you may be using)
3. Any veggies you're using
4. Lotsa sauce (cover the veggies completely)
5. Parmesan

Place into the oven on a jelly roll pan to catch any juices. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, depending on the overall thickness of the pizza. At the end of the baking time, allow to sit for at least 5 minutes.

To serve, remove the sides of the springform pan and cut into wedges.

My favorite cornbread, now gluten free

When I made chili last fall and winter, I made Bob's Red Mill cornbread mix to go with it. I hadn't learned enough about the various flours to even attempt to make my favorite cornbread recipe, one I tore out of a Martha Stewart Living magazine years ago.

But that was then - this is now.

I started eating chili in my dreams a few days ago. Here in Illinois, temperatures this week have been below normal - averaging about 50 degrees for a high. Brrr.... Besides, it's fall. And Haunted Barn season. I always made a lot of chili and cornbread during this season.

And now I can get right back to that familiar ritual. Because I have converted my cornbread to gluten free.

Try it. It's a slightly sweet, crunchy cornbread that goes great with the smokiness of chili. If you don't like your cornbread with a bite of crunch, you can use fine-ground cornmeal.





Brown Sugar Cornbread
Adapted from a Martha Stewart recipe

1/2 cup unsalted butter, plus more for the pan
1 1/3 cup medium-grind cornmeal
1/3 cup brown rice flour
1/3 cup sorghum flour
1/3 cup cornstarch
1 tsp xanthan gum
1 1/4 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 cup milk
2 eggs, beaten

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9x4 1/2" loaf pan and set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together the cornmeal, brown rice flour, sorghum flour, cornstarch, xanthan gum, baking powder and salt.

In a saucepan, melt the butter. Add the brown sugar and whisk briskly until combined. Remove from the heat and then add the milk; stir. Add the beaten eggs, whisk quickly, and then pour over the dry ingredients. Stir until just combined. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 35 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow to cool for 1o to 15 minutes, remove from the pan, and slice.

A day in the life

It was a long one. Got up at 5 AM, courtesy of The Man's cell phone alarm clock (I chose to sleep on the couch because I was glutened last night - the smell of beer on The Man's breath will send me rushing to the bathroom when I am in this condition. Because I didn't sleep in our bed, neither did he - he slept on the love seat across the living room from me).

Ran around like crazy making myself breakfast, feeding the zoo, doing laundry, packing up the rest of the boss' food that I had made yesterday.

Went to the bank and then hot-footed it to work, where pile upon pile of paperwork needed my attention.

Came home. Sighed in relief.

Sighed again when I remembered the bushel and a half of apples sitting in the garage. I had been putting this off for two weeks.

Started peeling, coring, and chopping apples. Threw the pieces in the big-ass stock pot used only for the making of applesauce. Filled it three-quarters full - and still have the other half of the apples to do tomorrow. Any guesses on how many pint jars of applesauce that big-ass stock pot actually filled?

While the apples cooked down, made dinner.

The big-ass stock pot is at the front left on the stove. Dinner is in the two pans (one behind the other) on the right side.

Shoveled food in my face while doing dishes, stirring applesauce, checking emails, and tripping repeatedly over the dog.

Took the dog outside every 5 minutes because she kept ringing that damn bell on the door because you weren't paying attention to her. You had to take her out because you didn't want to undo the training.

Repeat on Thursday.

On the wall behind my stove are three handmade little plaques I picked up - from left to right they say "dream," "celebrate," and "inspire." The two outside ones, no matter how much I fussed with them, refuse to hang straight. So I am leaving them as they are, slightly tipped, one to the right, one to the left. Besides, I am not perfect, my kitchen is not perfect, my cooking is not perfect...so who cares.

I am going to try to find something fitting to match the curve created by those two plaques.

Those 3 words mean something to me. "Dream" - that's what I can finally do now that I don't feel horrible all the time. I do most of my dreaming about food. Imagine that. "Celebrate" - every day that I have my health back, thanks to the food I eat. "Inspire" - I hope that's what I do with the recipes I post here.

Now that the last of the jars are out of the canner, I am going to make the bed with clean sheets, do some more laundry, soak in the tub, curl into a ball in my sweet-smelling bed, and crash.

Anyone local that might be willing to assist in the denuding of apples in exchange for a few pints of the finished product? I am so pitiful.

Nighty-night, all.

Bananas for breakfast & a great way to pass the evening

I de-glutened another recipe from the vault a couple of days ago, but because of the barn, I was unable to get it posted before now. Such is life, I guess, at least for another 3 weeks.



But first, because it's fun, I am going to rip on a couple of people:

--The adult female that came out of the barn crying shortly after a 7-year-old that was visibly upset yet not crying.

--The high-end (read: at least 17) teenager that got the dry heaves after going through the barn.

Ripping done.

This evening, I received a box from Amazon, which contained a much-anticipated book written by Shauna James Ahern of Gluten-Free Girl fame. As soon as my boss left with 4 days worth of food tonight, I put on my most comfortable jammies and curled up on the couch under a snuggly blanket, sipping a blackberry Izze (I love this stuff!), and read contentedly while the zoo competed for lap space.



Shauna unknowingly paid a huge part in my decision to get tested through Enterolab. Back in 2006, I was reading Bakerina's website while she was taking part in Blogathon. I had just been diagnosed with a multitude of environmental allergies, two of which were wheat and rye. I was researching if environmental allergies could affect digestion and reading Bakerina's hourly posts at the same time. I sent her an email asking if she had ever tried converting her bread recipes to wheat-free and she replied promptly with a link to Shauna's site. I clicked on the link and went out to our back porch to have a cigarette.

Food Network was playing on the TV. I lit my cigarette and had a drag. I don't remember which show was playing - all I remember about that moment was what happened next... The show cut to commercial. Normal time-wasters played and then when I started paying closer attention, a woman was in a green kitchen was talking about eating gluten free. My mouth fell open, the cigarette falling to the floor to burn a hole in the carpet, when she said she had a website called Gluten-Free Girl.

Holy shit.



I take omens and the like seriously. I took this as a sign that I had to do some more research immediately. I went back in the house (after picking up my cigarette and making sure the carpet wasn't going to start on fire) and read every post that night. Every symptom she described, I had.



Holy shit.



I made the decision to go gluten free that night. It took some stops and starts, but now that I have been gluten free for a year, I can honestly say that I feel better now that I ever have in my life. For someone who had a cold or bronchitis every couple of months, pneumonia every year, and a host of other issues that were "all in my head" according to the rest of the world, I can report that I have not had even so much as a sniffle - unless I have been glutened. Enough said, there.



So, thank you, Shauna, for helping bring Celiac and gluten intolerance to the forefront. Oh, and for writing this great book.





I better get this recipe posted so I can get back to reading it!






Banana-Chocolate Chip-Walnut Coffee Cake
Adapted from a recipe from The Vault



1 cup chocolate chips
2/3 cup light brown sugar
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
1 tbsp ground cinnamon
3/4 cup white rice flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup tapioca starch
1/4 cup coconut flour
1 1/2 tsp xanthan gum
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup baking soda
1/4 tsp kosher salt
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter (room temp)
1 egg
1 1/2 cups mashed ripe bananas
3 tbsp milk



Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8x8 baking dish and set aside.



In a small bowl, combine the chocolate chips, brown sugar, walnuts, and cinnamon. Set the streusel aside.

Sift together into another bowl the rice flour, tapioca starch, cornstarch, coconut flour, xanthan gum, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a mixer bowl, combine the egg, butter and sugar, mixing until light and fluffy. Add the milk and bananas. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture and mix well.



Spread half of the batter in the bottom of the prepared pan (I have found that the very edge of a rubber scraper works well for this - just move the batter a little at a time). Sprinkle half of the streusel over the batter, then spread the remaining batter on top of that. Sprinkle the remaining half of the streusel on top.



Bake for 50 to 55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in the pan; serve warm.

A favorite cookie

My favorite cookie is the gingersnap. It's also my dad's favorite cookie. My parents hope to come down for a visit around Christmas, so I wanted to be able to have our favorite cookie hanging around.

I actually did this last week, but haven't had time to take a picture or blog about it until tonight. It's another family recipe.

But before I get to the nummies, I gotta share a few highlights from our opening weekend.

We made an adult woman poop her pants.

Two adult women went through the haunted barn together; the one in back kept pulling on the front person's pants all the way through. When they got out, the front person had to go to the port-a-potty to pull her underwear out of her ass.

We had a Down's Syndrome girl go through the barn with her mother. Our helper took them through with a flashlight, just in case. He came out in tears because each of the high school students working inside the barn gave her an itty-bitty scare, removed their masks, and gave the girl a hug. Without being prompted.

Every time a parent comes to me to see if I think their child can handle our haunted barn, I am honest. It depends on the kid. If that kid is staring at me in terror just looking at the front door and hearing the sounds from within, I tell the parent to leave him/her with me and to go through themselves if they want. This occurs about half the time. The other half, I reserve the right to laugh hysterically at the shrieking child and the parent who will be up all night that night. And I get to laugh, and laugh, and laugh....a lot. Idiots.

The Farm has a great gift shop and I managed to start my Christmas shopping!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

Gingersnaps

A GF'd version of the family recipe

3/4 cup shortening

1 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1/4 cup molasses

1 1/4 cups brown rice flour

1/2 cup cornstarch

1/4 cup tapioca starch

1/4 cup sweet rice flour

2 1/4 tsp xanthan gum

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1 tsp ground ginger

1/2 tsp ground cloves

1/4 tsp kosher salt

1/4 to 1/2 cup granulated sugar

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Cream shortening, brown sugar, egg and molasses. Sift together the remaining dry ingredients except the granulated sugar; slowly add to the creamed mixture and mix well. Cover and chill for one hour. Roll into 1 inch balls, then roll in the granulated sugar. Place on a cookie sheet 2 inches apart and bake for 10 to 12 minutes.

The Haunted Barn opens today!

It's been a very long, stressful week getting the Haunted Barn ready to open today, but we are all set.

All of the Dollinger Family Farm attractions open today, as well. For anyone in this area that's interested, here is what is happening each weekend in October. There is no cover charge to get in.

• The Haunted Barn runs from 12 to 6 and costs $5 for 13+ and $3 for 6 to 12. Under 5 is free (if you want to be up with your kid all night!)
• Hayrides run from 12 to 5 and cost $5 for adults and $3 for children.
• The train runs from 12 to 5:30 and costs $3 for adults and $2 for children.
• The Corn Maze runs from 10 to 6 and costs $3 for adults and $2 for children.

There is also face painting available; costs vary.

If you come out to the farm, please stop by the Haunted Barn to say hello!

Road trip

This past Friday afternoon at about 12:30, The Gidge and I embarked on a nearly 4 hour journey to visit the place of my birth.

Boy, that sounds pretentious.

Let me rephrase that. We went to visit my family.

I haven't been home since Dad had his bypass surgery nearly 2 years ago. I am a very very bad daughter. It was a last minute decision to go because The Man was on call and couldn't leave.

To prepare, I baked a loaf of bread on Thursday night so I could take some along. I also brought some GF pretzels and apple chips. I relied on the local stores for everything else.

All in all, it was a good trip. I didn't get sick, I got to see my parents, some relatives on Mom's side, my sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and the dogs. And The Gidge got to meet her canine cousins, Oliver and Sampson. I was proud of her; she behaved very well all weekend and didn't piddle in the house once. Or chew shoes. Although I must admit that she got into a garbage can to shred paper on Sunday morning. The turd.

I am on vacation this week. The Haunted Barn opens this coming Saturday at noon, so I need to complete the final details inside the barn, as well as clean the house - my last opportunity until November. So after this coming Friday, posts may be slim until after the last weekend of October.

Since I was visiting, I thought about another family recipe I haven't had in a while. Mom used to make this all the time and it's popular at family gatherings. Most people know this as sloppy joes, but in my family, it's...

Hamburger Goo

1 pound ground chuck (I used turkey tonight because it's what I had in the freezer)

1-6 oz can tomato paste

1/2 cup diced onion

1/2 cup diced celery

1/2 to 1 tsp ground mustard (to taste)

1 cup ketchup

1 tbsp brown sugar

2 tbsp distilled vinegar

2 tbsp cornstarch

Preheat a large skillet over medium heat. Add the ground chuck, onion, and celery. Cook until the meat is cooked through (10 to 15 minutes). Add the tomato paste, ground mustard, ketchup, brown sugar, vinegar, and cornstarch. Stir well, reduce the heat to low, and cover. Stir occasionally; simmer for 20 minutes. Serve with hamburger buns.

This is one of those foods that my family would eat "weird."

Try a few potato chips inside the sandwich. Really.

The Vault

I have scads of recipes laying around here. It's an addiction - I cut them out of magazines, pull them off the web. I have a stack of old 3x5 cards that contain recipes from my Junior Chefs class in the seventh grade (everyone had to bring recipes to share with the whole class). Maybe it's not an addiction. It's probably a sickness.

My whole reason for reading magazines OF ANY TYPE is to see if they talk about food. Scientific American sitting on a doctor's waiting room table? Hm. Maybe they'll mention something Alton-Brownish. I will flip through briskly in hopes of a score. If I find something in a magazine, regardless of whether or not I will actually make the dish, I will surrepticiously tear the recipe out and stash it in my purse.

Yes, it's me doing that everywhere. It's a sickness, remember?

I have started calling this recipe collection "The Vault." Any future recipes I pull out of this monstrous pile will be marked as "From the Vault".

Without further ado, here's another one I have converted from The Vault. It's a different way to enjoy your PB&J - a recipe from my 7th grade Junior Chefs class.

Peanut Butter & Jelly Bars

From The Vault

1/2 cup unsalted butter, brought to room temperature

3/4 cup brown rice flour

1/2 cup tapoica starch

1/4 cornstarch

2 tbsp sweet rice flour

1 1/2 tsp xanthan gum

3/4 cup sugar

1 egg

1 cup creamy peanut butter

3/4 tsp kosher salt

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup jam of your choice (I used my homemade cherry almond)

Preheat the oven ato 350 degrees, Spray a 9x9 baking dish with cooking spray and set aside.

Combine the butter and sugar in a mixer bowl until fluffy, about 2 minutes on medium speed. Add the egg and peanut butter; continue to beat at medium speed until well combined.

Sift together the salt, baking powder, xanthan gum, brown rice flour, tapioca starch, cornstarch and sweet rice flour. Slowly add the flour mixture to the peanut butter mixture, beating on low until all of the flour is incorporated. Add the vanilla, beat to combine, and turn off the mixer.

Evenly press 2/3 of the batter into the bottom of the prepared baking dish, making sure the batter is level. Pour the jam on top of the batter and spread evenly. Using the remaining 1/3 of the batter, use your fingers to pinch and drop little pieces of batter on top of the jam.

Bake 40 minutes or until the top is golden brown. Allow to cool before cutting into squares.

Step away from the Dr. Pepper

It is nearly 12:30 AM. I can't remember the last time I was up this late.

I guess I should lay off the Dr. Pepper.

My normal daily caffeine intake involves 8 oz of chai tea. That's it.

I wonder how late I will be up after drinking 4 more- yes, FOUR - caffeinated beverages.

To kill time, I created an Amazon wish list and an Amazon store. Even The Gidge has gotten bored with me and slipped off to sleep on the couch next to me.

I tell you what - if I had Donald Trump's credit card, I would do some serious damage at Amazon.

Just too cute to resist

Delicious days of almost-fall

I love fall. Well, mostly. The weird temperature changes I can do without. But the changing leaves, fall fruits and vegetables? Those I adore.



The Man was supposed to take me out (for the first time in a year) for dinner tonight at a place in Naperville that can supposedly prepare a GF meal. Last night, he reneged. Bastard. The meal was to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary, which is the 18th.



So in place of the not-made-by-me dinner I was supposed to have, I went a little nuts in my own kitchen. Lots of goodies below, my friends.



But first, a little puppy porn. The Gidge is now 6 1/2 months old. Here she is, stylish in a new pink sweater, showing off the hack-job Momma did on her face. I guess she better learn quick to not move when Momma has the clippers in her hands.






It is such a beautiful day - The Gidge spent a good part of the afternoon outside (because I was in the kitchen working), thinking dog thoughts, barking at everything that moved, and wrapping her dopey ass around the support posts under the deck. The deck that only has 2 ways underneath, and those two ways underneath are barely big enough to let HER in. Momma had a scary moment this afternoon LOL I didn't think I'd get her out!



I look around the house and think of all the stuff I should be doing - putting away clean clothes, cleaning the fish tank, doing a few loads of laundry, vacuuming...but I chose to nap and cook instead. Oh, well. Tomorrow's another day - a day that will be spent out at the barn.



The second level's walls are basically built. I can probably start decoring up there tomorrow while the guys get the walls up on the first level. For anyone local, Dollinger's Pumpkin Farm opens for business two weeks from today. They are open during the week, but the Haunted Barn (my pride and joy) is only open on the weekends from 12 noon to 6 PM.



Back to food. It always comes back to food, doesn't it?



Tonight's special dinner consists of oven-fried chicken, potato-zucchini-tomato galette (just potato for Mr. The "Picky" Man), and butternut squash and red pepper casserole (plain ol' boring corn with butter for Mr. The "Picky" Man).



I found the recipe for the squash and pepper casserole here.

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Oven-Fried Chicken



1 pound chicken parts of your choice; I used boneless-skinless thighs and breasts
1 quart buttermilk
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp dried parsley
1/2 tsp paprika
1 egg
1 tbsp water
2 cups GF cornflakes, crushed
1 tbsp olive oil


Place the chicken parts in a large bowl. Pour the buttermilk over the top, cover, and refrigerate for at least 8 hours, but preferably overnight.



Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Prepare a baking sheet by laying down a layer of aluminum foil, then spraying it with cooking spray.



Set up a workstation by doing the following:



Bowl with chicken/buttermilk------>Bowl with egg whisked together with water and olive oil ----->Bowl with cornflakes, garlic powder, salt, onion powder, parsley, paprika---->Prepared pan for baking.



Work with each piece of chicken by removing it from the buttermilk, dipping in the egg mixture, dredging in the cornflake mixture, and placing on the baking sheet. When all pieces have been coated, sprinkle any remaining cornflake mixture over the top of the chicken pieces.



Place into the oven and bake until brown and crispy, about 30-40 minutes.

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Potato, Zucchini & Tomato Galettes
Based on a recipe from Martha Stewart.com



Makes 2 small galettes



2 baby yukon gold potatoes
2 baby red potatoes
1/2 a small zucchini
2 slices of a pretty tomato
Grey salt
Ground thyme



Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.



Spray two small shallow baking dishes with cooking spray (I used creme brulee dishes!).



Slice the potatoes into 1/8" thick pieces. Do the same with the zucchini.



Starting with the reds, place an overlapping layer of potatoes on the bottom of a baking dish, covering the entire bottom. Then do the same with the gold potatoes. Then place a ring of zucchini slices around the outside of the baking dish. Place a tomato slice in the middle, sprinkle with sea salt and thyme, and set the dish aside. Repeat with the other baking dish.



Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the potatoes are cooked through and the edges begin to brown.



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And the piece de resistance...





Apple Dumplings







Makes 3 dumplings



3/4 cup + 5 tbsp sugar
1/4 tsp + a pinch of cinnamon
1/8 tsp + a pinch of nutmeg
1 cup water
3 tbsp butter
3/4 cup white rice flour
1/4 cup tapioca starch
2 tbsp sweet rice flour
1 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1/3 cup shortening
1/2 cup milk
3 small apples - peeled, cored, and roughly chopped


Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Spray a 9x9 baking dish with cooking spray and set aside.



To make the syrup: combine 3/4 cup sugar, 1/4 tsp cinnamon, 1/8 tsp nutmeg and the water in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil and then reduce the heat. Simmer for 5 minutes, then remove from the heat and stir in 2 tbsp of the butter. Set aside.



To make the dumplings: combine the white rice flour, sweet rice flour, xanthan gum, tapioca starch, baking powder, salt, and 2 tbsp sugar in a large bowl. Add the shortening and mix until the flour resembles coarse crumbs. Add milk all at once and stir until the dry ingredients are just moistened. Pat into a ball, split into 3 parts, and wrap each part in plastic wrap (form each into a ball and then flatten into a disk). Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

On a white-rice-floured-surface, roll out each dough disk into a 6" circle. Place a third of the chopped apples into the center of each dough circle. Top the apples with 1/3 of the remaining 1 tbsp butter, 1 tbsp sugar, a pinch of cinnamon, and a pinch of nutmeg.

Using a spatula (the easiest way I found to keep the dough from tearing during this part), gently fold up all sides of the dough over the top of the apples. When all sides are folded up, use your hands to gently press the dough closed and sealed. Place the completed dumplings in the prepared baking pan.



Pour the syrup over the top of the dumplings. Place the pan into the oven and bake for 45 minutes. When removed from the oven, spoon some of the syrup over the top of the dumplings and then serve.

Feeling sorry for myself

I hate being sick.

We have been enjoying the cooler weather by sleeping with the windows open, so when I woke up with a slightly sore throat today, I figured it was related to the open windows and fans running and went on my merry way.

After eating my breakfast scone, I noticed that my throat was hurting twice as bad as it was when I woke. An hour or two later, after eating my sandwich at lunch, I noticed that my left ear was really starting to ache. Well, hell.

So I have an ear infection and strep.

I hate being sick. Oh, wait. I said that already.

Two things have made me feel marginally better. The first was coming home to my Timber Creek Farms and Natural Farms orders. Aren't all those organic veggies pretty? I love TCF. I got 3 different kinds of beets, red onions, tomatoes, kale, leeks, zucchini, lettuce, apples, some plum-like fruits, red peppers, broccoli, squash, radishes, 3 packages each of Grandma Ferdon's hamburger and hot dog buns, a box of Pamela's shortbread cookies, and a case of Pamela's Baking & Pancake Mix.

The second was having everything on hand to make pea soup. I know, I know. It was nearly 70 degrees today and NOT soup weather. But illness justifies having soup, doesn't it? Besides, I froze my damn ass off at work because I forgot to turn off the A/C before I left yesterday. Once my feet or hands get cold - that's it. My only options are to warm up from the inside out or soak in a steaming bubble bath.

Pea Soup

Adapted from somewhere, but I can't remember where

1/2 pound split peas, rinsed

1 1/2 teaspoons olive oil

3/4 cup diced yellow onion

1/2 cup diced celery

1/2 cup diced carrot

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 cup diced red potatoes

3/4 cup diced ham

1 bay leaf

1 tsp dried thyme

1/4 tsp fresh ground black pepper

1/4 tsp kosher salt

4 cups vegetable broth

Rinse the peas well, then place in a pot. Add enough cold water to cover, then bring to a boil. Remove from the heat, cover, and let stand for an hour.

In a large stock pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions, carrots, celery, garlic, potatoes and spices. Cook, stirring occasionally, until softened (about 15 minutes).

Drain the peas again and then add them to the vegetables in the stock pot. Add the stock to the pot, cover, and bring to a boil. Once boiling, reduce the heat to medium and allow to simmer until the peas are completely soft (45 minutes or so). Remove the pot from the heat and allow to sit for 10 minutes.

Now the fun part. Be very careful when you do this! Transfer half of the soup to a blender and pulse until mostly smooth. Remember that the soup is DAMN HOT and IT WILL BURN YOU. Do NOT ask me how I know this.

Pour the blended soup back into the stock pot and turn the heat to low. Add the ham and stir well. Continue to heat on low until the ham is warmed through (about 10 minutes).

Serve with crusty bread. I used a Pamela's Amazing Bread Mix to make a baguette because, well, making soup and rice pudding in one day when you feel like crap is already pushing it. One day, Mike, I will make your baguettes!

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The bubble bath might still happen tonight. The Man is out of town for work, so it's just the girls: me, The Gidge, and the cats (they're so girly they count as girls in this case IMHO).

And there will be tropical rice pudding. Because, you know, I'm sick.

Tropical Rice Pudding

1 1/2 cups cold cooked rice

2 cups skim milk

1 1/2 cup lite coconut milk

1/3 cup sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp banana extract

8 oz crushed pineapple, drained

Sprinkle of nutmeg

Combine the rice, milk, coconut milk, sugar and salt in a 3 quart saucepan over medium heat. Stir often, until thickened (40 minutes or so). Remove from the heat; add the extracts, pineapple, and nutmeg. Serve warm, sprinkled with brown or turbinado sugar.

Eat leftovers for breakfast.

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I am still smoke free - 17 days now. I was getting a buzz from the patch I was using (step 2 of 3), so after the first 2 weeks, I dropped down to the last one instead of waiting 6 weeks to do so. No more buzz when I put on a new patch. And I have twice gone all day without a patch.

Yes, We Have No Bananas

And here's why!

I have been burning through the bananas lately. I should really switch to a different fruit before I get sick of them. This week, I have eaten 2 batches of banana coconut muffins, had a double-banana poundcake recipe TOTALLY FAIL (grrr...), eaten a banana a day with lunch...and now this.

I have been on a childhood-food-memory kick. I am remembering foods that I hadn't thought about, much less eaten, in twenty years! Today's memory is something that I always looked forward to in my lunch bag during school when I knew Mom and Dad had gotten their hands on some....banana flips.

I skipped the banana flavoring (I assume extract) in the cream in favor of....yes, you guessed it...sliced banana. I also noticed that my sponge cake isn't as sweet as I'd like it to be, so if I make this again I will definitely up the sugar.

Banana Flips

From my head

For the "flip:"

4 eggs, separated

10 tbsp sugar (add more if you like your sponge cake sweet)

1/2 cup cornstarch

4 tbsp potato starch

1/4 tsp kosher salt

1/2 tsp xanthan gum

For the filling:

1 cup heavy cream

A bunch o' bananas (or 1/4 tsp banana extract added to the heavy cream before mixing)

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Prepare a jelly roll sheet by spraying with cooking spray, then laying down a piece of parchment paper large enough to cover the entire pan, and the spray the parchment paper (this will ensure the paper stays in place when you put the batter on and spread it out). Set aside.

In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks, half of the sugar, and vanilla together until well blended. In another large bowl (preferably the one on your stand mixer), whip those egg whites with the remaining sugar until they reach the hard peak stage. Take a small scoop of the whites and gently fold it into the yolks (fold, not stir!) to lighten the yolk mixture until all the whites are blended in. Then add the remaining whites in thirds.

Sift the dry ingredients into the egg mixture and gently fold it in.

Scoop 1/4 to 1/2 cup of the batter onto the prepared pan. Using an offset spatula, spread the batter out to a 6" circle. Repeat, leaving at least an inch of space between each batter circle. Bake until the center of the circles spring back when touched and the edges are just starting to brown, about 5 minutes.

Allow the sponge circles to cool for a minute or two on the pan and then quickly, while they are still warm!, drape them over a rolling pin so they bend in the middle. Allow them to cool in that position.

Shortly before serving, whip the whipped cream (and banana extract, if desired) until it holds soft peaks. If you are like me and prefer the real thing, slice a banana; lay the slices on the inside of the flip and then fill with the whipped cream.

Because I got a new nutmeg mill today, I felt the need to sprinkle a little on my banana flip. Anyone else like that? Do you feel a burning need to use a new appliance, toy, whatever as soon as you get it out of the box?

Heaven. I think I know why I was always a little heavier when I was a kid. Knee caps and banana flips.

A skeptic says "bondo"

Whatever the heck bondo means.


I made The Man try a knee cap. And we recorded it.

Body parts never tasted so good

After the meeting yesterday, I got a craving. I sat in front of the boob tube and mindlessly entertained myself until I determined what the craving was for. When I figured it out, I called my mother and she emailed me the original recipe.

Where does the body part reference come in? Why, the sweet I wanted is named a knee cap.

After taking a good look at the recipe this morning, I had a basic plan on what I was going to do. I then called L, a woman I met yesterday, to see if she wanted to come over and learn how to bake GF. And did we - not only did we make the knee caps, but we had pizza made with my favorite Arrowhead Mills pizza crust and taquitos! I think we both ate enough samples to make ourselves sick. You see, L has only known about her CD for about a month. I hope she takes the fun we had today to heart and understands that being gluten free can completely ROCK!

Any gluten-eating person who doesn't enjoy these - you're cracked. Loony. Crazy. Someone call the paddy wagon and take that person off to the funny farm.



I chose to use regular sugar instead of the powdered sugar in the original recipe to coat them.

Knee Caps

2 tsp yeast
1/8 cup warm water
1/4 cup shortening
1/4 cup sugar + 3/4 cup
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg, room temperature
1 cup milk, room temperature
2 cups rice flour
3/4 cup tapioca starch
1/3 cup sweet rice flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 tbsp + 1/4 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla
Fruit jam of your choice (I used my homemade cherry-almond)
Whipped cream
Canola oil for frying




Combine the yeast and water in a bowl; let stand for 5 to 10 minutes to allow yeast to bloom.



In a bowl, combine the rice flour, sweet rice flour, tapioca starch, cornstarch, xanthan gum, and baking powder. Set aside.



In another bowl, cream together the shortening, 1/4 cup sugar, and salt. Add the egg and vanilla, mixing well. Stir the milk and yeast mixture into the sugar mixture. Slowly incorporate the flour mix, bit by bit, until all of the flour is added.



Lightly butter a large bowl; place the dough into the bowl, cover, and allow to rise in a warm place for an hour to an hour and a half, until the dough has doubled to nearly half.

When the dough has risen, roll it out to 1.2" thickness and cut with a 1-1/2" round biscuit/cookie cutter. Cover the rounds with a towel and allow to rise again for another half hour.



With a round spoon (we used a measuring teaspoon), gently push an indentation in the center of each knee cap.



Pour the remaining sugar into a bowl and place near where you will be frying the knee caps.



In a deep pot, bring 2 inches of oil to 375 degrees. Drop the knee caps indentation-side-down into the hot oil and flip when golden brown. Remove from the oil when both sides are golden and allow to drain for a short time on a couple layers of paper toweling. Then drop them in the sugar and coat them thoroughly.



When all knee caps are cooked and cooled, place 1 tsp of fruit jam in the indentation, then top the jam with a dollop of whipped cream.



Bet you can't eat only one.