Shh... Did you hear that?

That nasty crackling, painful sound? It might be a very faint sound on your end.... It's the hardening of my arteries after tonight's dinner LOL

I have a love-hate relationship with vacations from work. I love not having to rush around in the morning, being able to spend much time with the zoo, cooking whatever I want, regardless of prep or cook time. I hate not knowing what's going on and dread the piles of paperwork upon my return to the office.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I love getting to take a nap every day? I am such a slacker.

The Man was also off today as he was on call for Memorial Day. His company is kind enough to give a "floating holiday" if they work on a major holiday. The poor guy had a hellish Memorial Day because his phone seemed to ring and ring and ring.... He slept in this morning and then took a 4-hour nap this afternoon, waking up just in time to grab his softball shirt and head out the door for batting practice.

Needless to say, he missed dinner. One that he would have loved, with his affection for anything and everything unhealthy. I personally don't allow myself to eat like this very often because I am trying to fix what's broke, but tonight it was a craving that wouldn't be satisfied by anything else.

So, if you hear any crackling, don't panic. No one is crawling through your bushes. It's me, over here in Illinois.

Patty Melts

3 hamburger patties

6 slices bread (I used Enjoy Life's Rye-less Rye)

4 tbsp butter plus more for spreading

1 onion, peeled and sliced

1 bottle GF beer (I used Redbridge)

1 tbsp olive oil

3 slices swiss cheese

Sea salt

Fresh ground black pepper

Place the hamburger patties on a plate and sprinkle the top sides with salt and pepper. Set aside. Toast the GF bread slices and set aside.

Preheat a large skillet over medium heat; add 2 tbsp butter and the olive oil. Once the butter is melted, pour in 1/2 cup beer. Add the patties seasoned-side down and then sprinkle salt and pepper on the tops. Fry in the beer, butter and olive oil until cooked to your liking (don't use my 6 minutes total as a guide because I like my beef RAW).

In a small skillet, melt the other 2 tablespoons of butter. Once it's melted, add 1/4 cup beer and the onions. Saute until onions are soft. Set aside.

To make the patty melts, spread each slice of toasted bread with butter. On 3 slices (turn them upside-down so you put everything on the un-buttered side), place a burger patty, then a good scoop of onions, then a slice of cheese. Top with a slice of bread (butter side facing up). Repeat with the other sandwiches.

Heat a third skillet (sorry, this is one of those recipes where I pray for my parents to pull into my driveway with my dishwasher - no, that hasn't happened yet) over low to medium heat. Place the sandwiches (butter side down, remember?) into the skillet and cook until well browned, about 3 minutes. Flip and cook until the other side is equally browned.

Take a bite. Debate calling your former-paramedic neighbor to come and hang out, just in case.